किती weird असतं हे life.. i mean एवढं सगळं करून मेल्यावर फक्त काही लाकडांवर संपतं.. आयुष्यात एक एक क्षण जगण्यासाठी कितीतरी धडपड करायला लागते.. या जगण्याच्या काळात किती लोकांना हसवायचं.. कळत न कळत किती लोकांना रडवायचं.. स्वतःचं नाव कमवायला खूप काही मेहनत घ्यायची.. आणि जेव्हा ती धडपड संपते तेव्हा बऱ्याचदा ते नाव विसरून लोक “body” म्हणतात.. काही काळ का होईनात थंड पडलेल्या त्या “body” साठी लोक रडतात.. पण नंतर फक्त आपल्या आठवणीं राहतात.. त्या देखील सगळे त्यांच्या दृष्टीने घेतात.. काही आपल्याला चांगले बोलतात.. काही वाईट देखील बोलतात.. सगळ्यांसाठी जगून देखील आपण सगळ्यांना खुश नाही ठेऊ शकत.. आठवणींचं सहसा असच असतं.. आपल्या चांगल्या गोष्टी आठवणींच्या पाटीवरून लगेच मिटतात.. पण जर कधी आपण चुकलो असू तर त्यामागचं कारण माहिती नसताना देखील त्या आठवणींनी लोक आपल्याला दोष देत राहतात..

from Instagram: http://ift.tt/2F9TRLJ

आज खुप दिवसांनी तुला पाहिलं..

आज खुप दिवसांनी तुला पाहिलं..
Don’t know what & why….
But… हृदयात काहीतरी pause झाल्यासरखं वाटलं….
तुला पाहता क्षणी मन तुझ्याकडे वळु लागलं ….
But…. मेंदूने सांगितलं…. थांब ….. तिथेच थांब….
बघ तिने तुला ignore केलं…
ते समजता क्षणी मनाला खुप वाइट वाटलं….
पण पाउलांनी …. स्वतः ला सावरलं…
बरं…. कितीही झालं तरी डोळे ….
डोळ्यांना नाही आवरता आलं….
त्यांतुन येणाऱ्या पाण्याच्या थेंबांना नाही थांबवता आलं…..
मग….. कुठून तरी मन …
जुन्या अठवणींच्या रस्त्यावर चालु लागलं…
चालता … चालता त्या अठवणींच्या रस्त्यावर….
डोळे पूर्ण भरून आले….
आपलं तेव्हाचं लपून लपून भेटनं…..
खुप वेळ अश्याच गप्पा मारनं….
तुझं हसनं….
तू तुझे problems माझ्याशी share करणं….
मग मी इथून तिथून काहीतरी search – research करून …
तुझ्या problems चे solutions शोधून तुझ्यासाठी आणनं…..
तसही तुला मी life मध्ये फक्त problems असतानाच लक्षात यायचो….
hmmm…. म्हणजेच… आता तुझ्या लाइफ मध्ये problems तरी नाही ….
or त्यांच्या solutions साठी तुझ्याकडे कोणीतरी आहे….
हे मात्र मनाला लगेच पटलं…..
त्यातच तू ignore केल्याचं reason मनाला समजलं …..
तुझ्यासारख्या selfish व्यक्तीचं example भेटलं…..
आणि बरं झालं तू इथवरच माझ्या नशिबात होती ….
याचं समाधान मला शेवटी मिळालं….

….story of Nobody….

It was around 12 am….. I was late from my office as i used to be every day….. but that day was a bit different ….. it wasn’t good enough for me …. throughout the day …. i was feeling quiet different …. there was everything going away from me …. 
i got d train at Thana around 12:20 am …. it wasn’t the last train …. & so was almost empty … i got the seat… next to window seat ….
A good looking … or a kind of smart guy was sitting next to me on window seat… was listening to music with his Bluetooth headsets… he looked some upset … n was also seemed crying …. i thought for a moment that i would ask him … “what happen buddy!!…. everything’s OK … you are looking a bit worried…”…. & before i asked him anything … he just looked at me …. smiled …. & said … “thanks buddy … but all is well… “.. i was just amazed seeing this …. how could he know what i think …. by the time i could say anything …. train passed the Vikhroli… i stood up …. to get down at Ghatkopar …. i was still looking at him …. he looked quiet old friend of mine …. he wasn’t ….. but … sometimes we feel that we have seen a person somewhere or is related to our life somewhere ….. 
Ghatkopar was about to come … train slowed down … that guy also stand up to get down … train stopped … i got down …. he also got down … i looked at my watch … it was 12:45 am … i was too late …. mom called me just when i was looking at my watch… i cut the call … & was just going to call her back … i saw that guy was sitting on the bench … on platform … keeping his bag on his laps … & was thinking something … 
Don’t know why … i called mom n said …. it’s too much workload today … so i cannot come home today …. will come tomorrow … you don’t worry …. & good night …. she got angry listening … but i know her … she asked about my dinner & all that …. i lied that i had dinner …. n act as being busy & cut the call ….
My call was over …. then i sit on the bench next to that guy …. i looked at him … he was looking very upset … & was about to cry …. I tap his back slowly … said … “what happen buddy? ….. why are you looking so sad …?…can i help you somewhere”…
Guy replied … “no…..  thanks … i am fine …. & thanks for asking”…
i again asked him …. you looked from a good family … u looked well educated … why are u sitting like this on platform … at 1 am … what is your name…. ?.. & tell me what is your problem …?”.
he looked at me…. said … “i am NOBODY…! I am just nobody….. a nobody who got nothing from life…. “
i told him … “see buddy it’s not end of your life …. you still have way to go …. things to get …. so don’t get upset so early …. Fight … You will surely win… “
Guy looked at me … gave me a smile. …. said … ” even i used to say the same things before going through all the crap …. but now i have not much power to struggle more…. to fall more …. and to stand up again …. “.
i asked him …. can you tell me what exactly happened with you …. is it because of a girl …. or family …. or some professional ….?
he looked into my eyes …. said it’s because of all those …. 
he started telling me more … i was in school …. had many friends …. we always keep running behind the scores….. i always studied …. i always studied …. more than i can … or more than anybody else… but i always end up being last in the race…. i always used to get upset with all these …. but then i think …. they must deserve to win … i must be somewhere less in my efforts …. 
school ends …. results came out …. i passed with 1st class ….. but …. i was last in race …. i left that …. Thanked god for everything he gave n start search of the colleges for admissions…. my name was listed in a good engineering college …. but on that time it was nothing more than my bad luck … i could not reserve my seat over there…. then i took the admission … in other college. in other college i finished my BE… while perusing my BE… i fall in love …. i fall in love with my closed friend ….. but before i ask her she have stopped talking to me. she delete me from even her friends list …. reason…. she never told…. still i was OK …. time goes on …. another closed friend of mine…. Namrata….proposed me… it was very unexpected …. in prior i denied…. but then seeing her seriousness… i have to agree her ….
i cleared my BE… got a job in small company on small salary …. 
Namrata was in Pune before for couple of months … then she came to Mumbai… we meet sometimes…. 
once i saw her with a guy holding hands together at Thana station…. it was the moment … i can not define …. but i found myself sitting on the trains floor… my heart was telling me …. don’t worry …. there’s nothing between them … but … brain was sure … it stopped working for some time ….. heart skipped many beats… i was in train … i was wanting to get down at Ghatkopar …. but don’t know when train stopped … n CST came… 
then as always time has gone …. i always used to get busy …. i keep myself busy with everything & anything… by the time i switched 2-3 jobs… then i got an chance to work with a new organisation … a new company… TTM… i left my good job to get in TTM… i was happy … as i used to get busy … n more busy … there were no love… no friends … i had time for nothing… after 15-20 days i came to know boss … isn’t financially well …. but in the hopes of getting something well in future … i stick there …. worked without salary … without food … without sleep …. only with a dream … that we will grow up… at the end we were only 3 when we achieved a good name in market …. one was boss & we two employees… TTM became a brand in market ….. but nobody knew the story behind this … my efforts behind this … then seeing the name in market … we got a big daddy … a financier …. who took charge of TTM India … and made it TTM global …. but i was less in efforts somewhere …. or that daddy never liked me … he never considered me in key employees …. i was just the report maker for him …. I was nothing for TTM global …. in between all my struggle …. fights … & efforts … a girl came to my life ….. she was good … friendly … she is Savita… I always felt happy talking to her … i had never seen her …. she was also from TTM…. we had words before …. but now we used to share many things to each other… i remember … it was 18th of March …. she proposed me …. it wasn’t unexpected actually …. because we started liking each other since we start sharing …. but there was a fear in my eyes … what if she leave me like Namrata…. i could not suffer the same phase again … i honestly cleared everything with her….. i have told her about all my past …. my secrets …. and many useless stories… 🙂 …. he stopped n paused for a while… n said …. “i have failed now … if u go anywhere from my life …. i cannot stand .. i can never stand again….”
i just looked at my watch …. it was 3:40… the guy … he took out a water bottle from his bag… n had a sip… it was raining quiet heavy when i turned my head to see around …. 
I see into his eyes …. his eyes were full with tears… but he kept them holding for long time …. but he cried suddenly …. said … i never lie her … i really never lie her…. i trust her more than anybody … it was 18th of may … 2nd month after she proposed and we start our relationship…. she was not well on that day …. but even i was also unwell here … i could not call her and ask her about her condition …. i called her in the night … while coming back to home… she was angry coz i did not called her…. she told me “there was a guy who helped her …. it wasn’t you … you was never there with me when i was in need …. i don’t want to talk to you ….. it was Sachin who helped me”. … and she disconnect the call ….. i couldn’t tell her that even i was in need …. i was not well …. that didn’t mean that i did not care …. but i don’t want to let her know that i was not well … i don’t want her to be worried for me.
then she started moving away from me …. and getting closed to Sachin… i couldn’t hold myself…  i commit her …. i commit her confirming from all in my family …. i promised her …. i prayed her…. i begged her ….. she told me that she will never go away from me…. i but once i came to know …. she is not mine …. she loves somebody else  …. but i did not trust others …. i asked her ….. she was silent ….. whenever i ask her something …… her silence kills me…. 
his tears were rapidly flowing down his eyes…. 
he continued … today a guy in her office told me …. she don’t love u … she loves Sachin …. she have cheated you …. its better you move on …. she left office keeping bags here with him to some secret place …. where they used to go regularly …. i did not trust him … i ignored him … he told me to confirm calling her …. i called her …. she reject my call …. i told him she is at p.g. … might be taking bath …. i will talk to her later …. he laughed at me and said all d best … i was really worried …. i kept calling her … she kept rejecting my calls …. she did not answer even single call …. she didn’t replied my messages … i was worried …. what might have happened to her …. i was trying to call her for almost an hour …. and she ignored every call … every message …. Then she received my call …. said sorry for not answering …. i asked her what is the problem …. what happen …. she said …. it’s nothing related to u …. so i don’t want to share …. it wasn’t like this before …. we used to share everything … but now things have changed …. she have moved on …. i was alone …. she left me alone ….. she did not even think about me even once …. what was my fault in all that …. why do i need to suffer ….. 
i am just nobody …. nobody wants me …. my family …. they never think about me …. they never asked me how i am ….. they never know what am i going through …. my friends …. all selfish …. nobody knows how am i? …. where am i? my boss … my TTM …. they don’t know me ….. it’s just my PO make me exist in TTM…. and now …. Savita …. even she did this to me …… i cannot control …. and he started crying like a small child …. who is lost in a crowed …..and his eyes were searching for somebody …. somebody who will cared for him …. somebody with he could share himself ….. somebody who will never leave him …. somebody who will never lie… somebody his own … he shown me his what’s app …. there were some message on it …. “m sorry” … n some more …. i did not read them … he said its she …. i looked her pic …. then i turned around …. i saw rain was almost stopped …. sun came up … it was around 7 am …. my phone ringed …. it was my sisters call …. asked me when r u leaving office?… i looked at that guy … i said … i will be home around 8… n cut the call… i asked him where do he stay … he said here only …. u don’t worry … i will go … i told him … i am going by auto i will drop you near your home … he denied …. thanked me …. and started walking alone …. he walked away ….. he was now very far from me …. he went to the public bridge …. get up on the bridge …. and now was out of my eyesight … he was invisible … 
i spent my whole night with Nobody at Ghatkopar station … 2nd platform …. on the seat near indicator …. i did nit came to know …. when night gone … when day came …. platforms got crowded ….
that Nobody ….. don’t know who was he …. and from where he came …. where he went ….. but Nobody was really nobody…

Please don’t leave me…

Please don’t leave me…
I need you in my life as much I need oxygen to breath..

I need you for me …
as much a tree needs water for life…

I need you to take care of me …
as much a small child who is on bed needs a mother…

I need you with me…
as much we need light to see in dark…

I always need u for me …
as much a blind needs a stick to walk….

I need you with me…
as much a wind with a rain …

Please don’t leave me ….
be with me ….
for today and for tomorrow….
…..

Unseen Love …

 

 

I have not seen you,

neither you have seen me before…

but don’t know…

how this small heart gone crazy for you ….

 

I was nobody to you…

you was nobody to me …

I haven’t thought that you would be somebody to me….

but now you are everything to me ….

 

I was just alive….

my life never had any meaning …

but now you are my life ….

And you are its meaning …

 

My days used to start with the ringing alarm ….

ends with the darkness in closed eyes …

now my days start with your thoughts ….

and ends with your dreams in eyes….

 

you are still so far from me…

but don’t know why …

talking to you …laughing with you, being with you…

changes my whole world…. 

 

I was always alone …

never thought of somebody’s company …

but don’t know why…

now i cant leave without you…

 

Have a happy L!FE …

Have a happy L!FE ……

 

Have a happy L!FE ...

….. आई …..

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

तू ते मी काढलेलं पहिलं चित्र …

Showcase च्या त्या काचेत ठेवलंस …

ते पाहून मला अजून एक चित्र काढावसं वाटलं ….

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

तू त्या मागच्या खिडकीतल्या मांजरीला ….

भरलेल्या वाटीतून दुध प्यायला द्यायचीस …

तेव्हा मला समजलं .. कि प्राण्यांवर दया करावी …

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

तू फक्त माझ्या वाढदिवसासाठी …

ती खीर बनवायाचीस ….

आणि मला समजलं की ….

आयुष्यात या छोट्या छोट्या गोष्टी सुद्धा…

किती महत्वाच्या असतात ना ….

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

तू त्या देव्ह्यार्यापाशी प्रार्थाना म्हणायचीस ….

तेव्हा मला वाटायचं …. की …

तिथे देव आहे … आणि तो तुझ्याशी बोलतो ….

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

तू माझ्या केसांतून प्रेमाने हात फिरावायाचीस …

तेव्हा मला प्रेमाचा अर्थ समजला …

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

मी तुझ्या डोळ्यांत अश्रू पाहिले …

तेव्हा मला समजलं की …

कधी कधी काही गोष्टीं मुळे दुख होतं …

तेव्हा रडलं तरी चालतं  …

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

तू हसायचीस ….

तेव्हा मला वाटायचं …

मीही नेहमी हसत राहावं …

आणि तुझ्या सारखं छान दिसावं …

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

मी आजारी असताना तू कितीतरी रात्री …

माझ्या काळजीत जागून घालवल्यास …

तेव्हा मला समजलं …

Doctor नुसती औषधे देतो … बरं नाही करत …

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

तू माझी काळजी घेतलीस …

तेव्हा मला समजलं …

मी तुझ्या साठी …. काहीही केलं तरी …

तुझे उपकारांची मी परतफेड करू शकत नाही ….

जेव्हा तुला वाटायचं 

मला समजत नाही …

पण …. मी पाहिलं ….

आणि मला बरंच समजलं …

तुझ्या शिवाय मी नसतोच …..

आणि माझ्या आयुष्यात तूच देव आहेस ….

….. Thank you आई …… Thank you ….

….. मला पुन्हा शाळेत जायचय ….

….. मला पुन्हा शाळेत जायचय ….

शाळेचे ते दिवस आठवले की …

उगीचच मोठं झाल्यासारखं वाटतं ….

bus -stop ची मागची ती शाळा पाहून ,

पुन्हा शाळेत जावसं वाटतं ….

शाळा आमची छान होती …

Last bench वर आमची team होती ….

Cricket च्या वेळी ground वर cheating व्हायची …

आणि मधल्या सुट्टीत कॅन्टीन मधल्या वडा-पाव साठी ….

साला नेहमीच line असायची …

जन-गण-मन ला कधी कधी ..

शाळे बाहेर सुद्धा उभे रहायचो …

प्रतिज्ञेच्या वेळी हाताला टेकू देऊनही ….

प्रतिज्ञा म्हणायचो …

प्रार्थनेच्या वेळी मात्र …. सगळ्यांसारखे …

नुसतेच ओठ हालवायचो ….

पावसाळ्यात शाळेत जाताना ,

छत्री दप्तरात ठेऊन …. मुद्दामच भिजत जायचं …

पुस्तक भिजू नये म्हणून ….

त्याना पिशव्यांमध्ये ठेवायचं ….

शाळेतून येता येता … एखाद्या डबक्यात उडी मारून …

उगीचच सगळ्यांच्या अंगावर पाणी उडवायचं ….

Black -board वर बोलणार्या मुलांमध्ये ….

Monitor नेहमीच आमचं नाव लिहायचा …

नेहमीच्याच incomplete गृपाठामुळे …

हातावर duster चा व्रण असायचा ….

प्रयेत्येक Off -period ला P.T. साठी ….

आमचा आरडाओरडा असायचा …

शाळेतून घरी येताना शाळेबाहेरचा ….

तो बर्फाचा गोळा संपवायचा ….

मुलीं बरोबर कितीही बोललो तरीही ….

कधी कोणी link नाही लावायचं …

प्रत्येक महिन्यातून एकदातरी …

डोक्यावरचे केस कापायचो …

आणि आज-काल सारख्या प्रत्येक वाक्यात ….

शिव्या सूद्धा नाही द्यायचो …

इतिहासात वाटतं …. होता शाहिस्तेखान …

नागरिक शास्त्रात पंतप्रधान ….

गणित… भुमितीत होतं … पायथागोरस च प्रमेय …

भूगोलात वाहायचे वारे …. नैऋत्य … मॉन्सून …

का कुठलेतरी … वायव्य….

हिंदीतली आठवते ती “चिंटी कि आत्मकथा”

English मधल्या grammar नेच झाली होती आमची व्यथा …

शाळेतल्या gathering चा dance …

बसल्या बसल्या झोपान्यासाठीचा … तो मराठी चा तास ….

दरवर्षी नवीन भेटायचे ….

Uniforms आणि वह्या पुस्तकांचा set …..

पण नवीन दप्तरासाठी नेहमीच करावा लागायचा wait ….

शाळा म्हटली कि अजूनही आठवतात ….

desk वर pen ने त्या “pen fights” खेळणं ….

exams मधल्या … रिकाम्या जागा भरणं … आणि जोड्या जुळवणं …

चिखलातल्या त्या football च्या matches …

कबड्डीत … पडून धडपडून ….

हातापायांवर आलेले scraches …

खरच कंटाळा आलाय या मोठेपणाचा ….

मला पुन्हा लहान व्हायचं ….

हसायचं …. खेळायचं ….

मला पुन्हा शाळेत जायचं ….

आज पुन्हा

 

आज पुन्हा मला तुझी आठवण झाली,

आज पुन्हा मनात… त्या जुन्या क्षणांची साठवण झाली…

आज पुन्हा मी काहीतरी विसरलो,

आज पुन्हा मी तुझ्या विचारांत हरवलो…

आज पुन्हा तुला भेटावसं वाटलं,

आज पुन्हा तुझ्या बरोबर बोलावसं वाटलं…

आज पुन्हा चुकल्यासारखा मला जाणवलं,

आज पुन्हा माझं मन दुखावाल्यासारखं काहीसं घडलं…

आज पुन्हा in-box मधले तुझे mails वाचले,

आज पुन्हा तुझ्या calls ची वाट पाहिली…

आज पुन्हा मित्रां मध्ये मी एकटाच राहिलो,

आज पुन्हा मी एकट्यातच रडलो…

आज पुन्हा तू मला समजून न घेतल्याचा मला वाईट वाटलं,

आज पुन्हा कोणीच सोबती नसल्यासारखं मला वाटलं…

आज पुन्हा दिवसभारात काही नवीन नाही घडलं,

आज पुन्हा मी दिवसाला काल सारखंच संपवलं ….

राहिलं नाही…

भरपूर मोठ्या रस्त्या वरून चाललोय …

सोबती मात्र कोणी नाही ….

कुठेतरी शेवट असेल म्हणून चाललोय ….

पायांत ताकात मात्र अजिबात राहिली नाही ….

आयुष्य बाकी आहे म्हणून जगतोय ….

जगायची इच्छा मात्र राहिली नाही ….

मित्र आहेत …. बरेच आहेत …

मैत्री मात्र राहिली नाही ….

प्रेमात पडलोय म्हणून प्रेम आहे ….

प्रेमावर विश्वास मात्र राहिलेला नाही …

नाती आहेत म्हणून नातेवाईक आहेत …

नात्यांतले संबंध मात्र राहिले नाही ….

घड्यालाहे म्हणून time आहे ….

वेळ मात्र कोणाकडेच राहिला नाही …

मंदिर आहे म्हणून देव आहे ….

देवावर विश्वास मात्र राहिलेला नाही ….

दोन पायांवर चालतो म्हणून माणूस आहे …

माणुसकी मात्र राहिलेली नाही….